How to do Black Friday

1. Get up early, but not too early, seven fifteen is good.
2. Start your day at Starbucks and meet your mom there with your toddler in tow.
3. Order something with large amounts of caffeine, get distracted feeding toddler and find your drink fully chilled by the time you get to it.
4. Go with mother and child to Target. Find multiple items that would make gifts, albeit they are not really on sale.
5. Buy items, go through remarkably short check out line, get over confident "This isn't so bad!"
6. Go to Kohl's. Send mother and son in stroller directly to get in the check out line.
7. Go to find toys and other items on sale and find mother and son still in line, a mere 12 feet forward in a line that wraps around the store- 40 minutes later.
8. Abandon goods.
9. Say screw it and go to Chik-Fil-A.
10. The end.

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