Two Newbs in Two Months

I come from a fairly small family. I have one sister. Brandon has one brother. I didn't "acquire" a first cousin until I was a senior in high school (I have two total now). Keegan is the only grand child on both sides of the family. And, he will likely be an only child. So, yeah, pretty small family.

BUT I am happy to announce we are getting two new family members in a period of two months! Last week, my little sister- the person I still call "shorty" (despite the fact that she is now one inch taller than I am) married long time boyfriend, short time fiancee Ian while vacationing in Greece! It had been planned for a time, and my immediate family knew- and full blessings were given. I would like to welcome Ian to the family, as my newest sibling.And, because adding one sibling seemed fun- we are adding another in September. We will be also welcoming Ashley, Brandon's brother's fiancee to the family on September 12th!In honor of these additions, I would like to share a few words of wisdom with the newbs:

To Ian:
-Beware-on any day OTHER than your birthday, Shauna is permitted to give you a wedgie at any given time- as long as she says "birthday wedgie time!" however, if it IS your birthday you are immune.
-You need to learn the lyrics to Boris the Spider. Here they are... study them:
Look what's crawling on my wall, dark and hairy very small. Booooooris the SPIder, Boooooooris the Spider, Booooooooooooooooris the spider. (Be prepared to sing them at any moment)
-Your new father in law does not wear shorts. Like ever. So never buy him shorts as a gift. I don't know that you would... but, just in case.
-By the pond out at the Perry house, lurks a creature that will "get" you if you do not behave (at least that's what Shauna and I were told) and it's name is black snake. We assume it is both a snake, and black- however we have never actually gotten a visual...

To Ashley:
-At any given moment, if your father in law is saying something to you, he is likely making fun of you. That's how you know he likes you. Just have a retort fired up and ready at all times.
-You must like popcorn.
-Always brush and floss before you see your mother in law- if you don't she'll know. And she will always know when it is time for you to come to her work for a 6 month cleaning- even if you don't ;-)

Welcome to the family Newbs!