Crazy little demonic creatures.

Last night, I was preparing to have some friends over for a BBQ, and I was spending some time assessing the backyard's condition. Lawn looked good, I'd picked up the dog poo, the deck was swept, plants were watered- everything seemed just about right- until I looked up under one of the eaves of the house. HOLY BATMAN there were some disturbing sights to see.

First off, if you're a fairly new reader, you may not realize I am DEATHLY afraid of spiders. Especially black widow spiders. Seeing a black widow spider instantly makes me feel as though my bones have turned to jello and I can barely stand. They TERRIFY me. Partially because I know they are poisonous and their bites really hurt, but also because their poison could make me throw up, which is my #2 biggest fear. (Rational? No. But yes, I am more afraid of black widows and throwing up than even death itself) I am SO afraid of black widows, I once stood outside my front door pacing for almost 3 hours, because there was a large black widow sitting on top of the door frame. It was 112 degrees that day. I've mentioned it before on the blog, and yes, I KNOW I am irrational- BUT in my mind- a black widow can jump, fly, rappel on a web down- do just about ANYTHING to bite me, and that is the spider's SOLE mission in life. SOLE people. I am that spider-ego-centric. (Don't judge!)

So...... back to the eaves. When I looked up I saw something utterly disturbing. Something no arachnophobic wants to see. Spiders, webs and.... EGGS. Spider eggs. As in soon, there will be MORE spiders kind of eggs. DISTURBING people!!!

Check out these crazy nests!

This first one was in my back doorway. In one circle, you will see two spider eggs, clearly filled with like eleventy-billion baby spiders ready to attack me. When I took the picture, I was holding the camera up above me and couldn't even see the "mama" spider that you are seeing in the photo that was apparently present as well. As was the OTHER FREAKING SPIDER THAT MUST HAVE BEEN RIGHT BY MY HAND BECAUSE IT IS OUT OF FOCUS! (second circle)This next photo shows a CRAZY spherical web, encasing an egg, and the mama spider (which again, I couldn't see from the ground, but my camera found) and oh yeah, two other spiders.And finally, this photo shows what I can only picture in my head as a motherload nest soon to be exploding with baby spiders. A spider volcano if you will.Now that the spider tour is over, I confess, though I *try* to be a lover of nature and creatures, I just could not sleep knowing these creatures were hatching soon and bound to kill me in my sleep. So, I'll keep this clean and vague, but let's just say- I'm not scared anymore. (For now)


  1. An excellent post, and I concur completely on your assessment of spiders.

  2. No judgement here. I would have screamed and ran away. Forget the part about getting my camera and taking pictures of the horrid creatures and their soon-to-be offspring. I have goosebumps just thinking about it!

  3. I died laughing at this... and your little added drawings! hahahaha! oh goodness Nat, no one over here judges you for ANY of it. Spiders are terrifying, and spider eggs?? I've watched Arachnophobia one too many times to let any eggs just sit and hatch. KILL KILL KILL!

  4. Noooo I feel your pain! I hatehatehahtatheahate spiders, they are sooo terrifying! We have a bunch up like that too on our back and front porch, and I literally run in and out of the door because I see them right there are they are going to JUMP ON MY FACE AND EAT ME. Even if everyone else can barely see them. Ugh, gross. And Chris? If there is a spider inside he will PICK IT UP! Pick it up! IN his bare hands! ANd put it outside, NOT COOL. Not a black widow of course, but still.

    Speaking of black window (ewewew), a few months ago, Chris had brought a few pieces of firewood in to put in the fire place (this is the only way I think it could have got inside our house). My sister was sitting on the couch opposite of me and i saw a BLACK WIDOW crawling on the couch by her! I screamed and jumped up and ran, freaking her out of course and she ran too (she had no idea what it was). Finally I was able to scream BLACK WIDOW. It was so disturbing that I didn't sit on the couch forever, lol!

    Ok I am done :)

  5. Eeeeeeeeew! I couldnt even look at the pics too closely...Now Im all itchy.


  6. You didn't just leave them there did you? for the live ones I usually keep a spray can near by, spray them and then knockem down and step on them to make sure those nasty things are dead. Oh also spray the eggs, but make sure you smash those things too, to make sure they are dead too. If you don't have bug spray near by, bleach works just as well. Oh and then the water hose with a full force gun to wash all the ugly webs of your beautiful home and plus you can tell if you missed someone if days later the webs apear. :) I know this is gross, but it's either you or them.


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