There's an opossum in our attic. (I think.)

Opossum. What a weird word. Starts with a vowel, but the vowel is silent. Do I use an or a? Hmm...

You know what's not silent? A nocturnal animal, who has decided to make a home out of your attic, and hangs out there when you're trying to sleep. Not silent at all. In fact, it sounds something like "scritchy-scritchy-scritchy-scratch, run run run, scritchy-scritchy-scritchy-scratch" (repeat, times one thousand).

The first night, in all of my brilliance, I deduced "there's an animal, and I think it's IN the ATTIC." I told Brandon, who confirmed in fact, there must be an animal, in the attic.

The next morning, while walking kiddo to school, I told him of the dilemma:

Me: "Keegan, there's an animal that snuck into our attic and it's making noise at night."

Keegan: "What kind of animal is it?"

Me: "I don't know."

Keegan: "Well, what's it sound like?"

Me: "scritchy-scritchy-scritchy-scratch, run run run, scritchy-scritchy-scritchy-scratch"

Keegan: "And it makes noise at night?"

Me: "Yup."

Keegan: "I think you have a opossum. It doesn't go thump, so it's too small to be a raccoon.  It's big enough to make lots of noise, so it's too big to be a squirrel. Cat feet are soft. Opossums move at night because they're not-turnal (his term), so you have a opossum."

Me:
Source




That is the exact face I made when I realized my child is officially smarter than I am.

Moving on.

So, as it turns out, opossums in your attic? Pretty bad situation. So much so that the search term "Opossums in the Attic" brings up a the following page immediately: http://www.wildlife-removal.com/opossum-attic.html

It's all about opossum in the attic drah-mah!

Things I apparently have to look forward to, if the opossum does not vacate our dwelling:
  • Baby opossums falling down our walls. And dying.
  • Opossums smelling up the house
  • Opossums smelling up the house REALLY REALLY REALLY bad because they're dead.
  • Opossums pooping ginormous opossum poops everywhere in the attic
  • Opossum eaten wiring and electrical issues
  • Did I mention giant opossum poops EVERYWHERE in the attic?
 What I'm about to show you, is disturbing, so avert thy eyes and scroll through squinty eyelids, ok?

THIS IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO MY HOUSE!
Source

So, clearly, I am concerned.I contacted the business who posted the terrifying very helpful site about opossums in the attic, and requested a home consultation. Unfortunately, the local person is GONE UNTIL NEXT WEEK!

I don't even want to know what one week of opossum poop looks like.

So, needless to say, in the meantime, we will be attempting to use a cat-trap to trap the opossum in our attic, and praying our attic does not yet look like the photo above.

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious & sad at the same time! Do you not remember having this same prob below the flooring in our "house on the hill?" oh, yes we did! It sounded like "Scritch, scritch, thump, roly poly pell mell, thwack (tail)"

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